17

If I have understood
now I have grown
Minds me in many ways
Of me who not only

I cant no longer be found..
I can't I float and then freeze
Perfect not even close..

Thinking ahead is not as easy as it seems..
Put down the shade
Let me throw my pain away
Forget the sin inside i tried to hide so well

So many many years have passed
I've known that i'm lost
my self all alone
I used to pretend to smile to life
But nothing drives my mind out of the wrong

I'm a 17
why is this 17years old girl sad?
why is this 17years old girl feel that she's a bad?

VeNgEaNcE

I was just being sarcastic..
I was just being sarcastic..
I was just being sarcastic..

My shining shooting star..

My shining shooting star..
Are you still there? Eventhough you are a far..
Wishes caught in flight..
Fade into the night..
Out of sight..

The sky seems darker..
You won't be there
You..
Won't be there..

How can I give when I have nothing?

Can't make a wish..
My shining shooting star..
Can't yell too loud..
Can't hear me cry..

The killing keeps on going on
How long will this war carry on?
death went on and on..

Who am i?

a lot of things left silent..
wonder why this always happens
i may be whiny, i may be childish,
maybe immature, maybe insane..

conquer the world every move endured..

Run wild through the fucking streets..
And I can't cry another tear..

Am I a little fucker?
a dumb ass?
an anonymous girl?
the beast hidden in shadows?
a field of black lilies and sorrow?

I'm nobody..

YoU

I am blind in one eye I can`t see out of the other
I ain't talkin about the guys either.
I want to hear pitter patter.
But it's the simple things in life that matter,
Juz wana be ur little sister

I cry myself to sleep every night
I cut myself to bleed every fight

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

For when I come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember I fought and I bled,
Is payment enough, and with that I'll trust,
That I matter to you as you matter to me.'

Nightmare

i cut myself,
in fear of bleeding
the smell of a malicious grin of a walking devil
Fear of beasts
is what makes me a prey
Won't let me play what a child would play

heard him laugh at me
I closed my eyes and imagined I was nowhere
Melted and escaped from those frigid eyes..
What's really inside
Why I try to hide
I thought that I was healing
But again this heart is bleeding

I creep though shadows
I creep up in the shed
I creep and keep on seeing this face,
Creep in slowly
Lest no one sees

I was ask, scream and yell
I spend hours forcing my mind
as my life rolls like an empty bottle of water following the wind..
I guess all I can do is fight for a better day..
But time..
fades the Dreams not the nightmare..

PestA deMokRasi

Meringkuk tajam
Di bui katedral
Lapar dan sengau
Bersandar galau

Untukmu aku berderet manja di atas bak sampah
Mengelu-elukan lambang yang pura pura bicara
Di dalam truk truk penuntun maut
Berkampanye ria
Berdangdut dengan binaraga
Mencuci otak si binaria
Biduan rupawan bermulut ganda

Negaraku berparade
Janji menyumpal kepicikan terjungkal
Seruan bising otakku miring
Hanya aku yang terlalu sinting
Sedikit berpikir banyak menuding

Yaah..

Terserah

Wakilku berbaring ragu
Menjual uang berbedak terigu
Tapi sepertinya itu terlalu janggal
Menelusur hati yang terjegal

Payah

Pesta demokrasi sebentar lagi

Menanti negeri kembali bernyanyi
Bernyanyi lagi
Bernyawa lagi

SLeeP

Sleep, sleep,
for ever deep
Not to keep the life very tight!
I'll sleep without light
Peacefully breathing,

Rainbow serenity
Thankful replenity

An eternal sleep of which I will not wake
waiting for you to awaken me from this sleep..

sicKKK!!

I'm sick,
of being depressed
hidding secret inside me
acting stupid sometimes

Tired of the tears I cry
thoughts about giving up
being unable to learn
seeing the blood that i own

this lonesliness
darkness
and selfeshness

Sick of nightmares,
Shattered on the floor.
a silouhette in the air

I’m always asking why,
I’m blamed for the mistakes I’ve made and it is such a shame
Makes mee want to say how sorry I am,

wishing I could stop crying
I feel like shit,
Trying to make something good
But I just think it’s a little fucked up
That whenever I try, it always ends up bad

Friends say I’m a fool…..,

And I know it too….,

Untitled

Say you care
Not once have you been there,

I have no memory of u..

Juz..

the demon that drove the beating hand..
were defying that sad land..
forgot how the end..
Can you hear i was scream loudly?
"Hug me!! for I
can no longer
stand!!"


Where were you when I fell?
you were too far off to see..
what was then, i see so dark
You.. figured I dropp by with a little rhyme

Have the love for a dad, found it in others that is sad

RaiN

Lost in a crowd
Life for Lord
still living in the poor world

walking in the rain,
like a helpless chick in the drain..
Nobody heals my pain
heal my heart

It's hard to explain
Hurt never heals in the rain,
feeling the strain
sinking back again
Rain..
As red as bloodied veins

It is still raining,
I'm still running
i'm tired of hurting..

Let it rain
Let me Rain

death

Death is anything
Like a dreamless sleep
sadness feeling,
Blood was dripping
Blood was seeping
Think of nothing



A nightmare that u can't handle
Like a timeless art
Death is what suicide people
but not to be cried at

Where is death, there is no you..

ENCLOSED IN HATE

hate me for whatever reason
every minute of everyday..
hate when i cry seeing it in my eyes
hate knowing that you may hurt me



hate who I am and who I thought I would never be



hate that my heart is broken with no one to put it back together


I hate how I cry.
i hate how I’ve lost you
i hate that i drown
i hate that i've known
from your world i fell down

pray

I bleed alone
I'll die alone
Chase my shadow alone
You are gone..

i pray to survive
i pray to be safe
walking through life
why don't I just open my heart and let someone see my heart....?

i pray..
i pray i can find my way
i know I'll die someday
i won't see you walk away
and i pray..
You won't let me cry

Aaah..
Seandainya aku nyata

Menggelepar kasar
Secangkir darah terbakar
Aku tak tahu itu
Tak ada yang melihatku

Disini
Di sudut kamar mandi

Mencari nyawaku yang tertimbun
Menguap embun
Aku mati tadi pagi

Tuhanku..

Disini,
Di sudut kamar mandi

MooNLighT

In the end
Desire to mend..
My hurting mind

Nobody's blind!

I would bind!
By my hand!
To you my dying friend!

A cool rain has fallen..
I begin thinking of a forbidden woman..
She's a shadow of mine that I can't save..
Half of my dreams I have
She's alive
She's a life..

I told her I could not walk,
I wouldn't let her talk
Restless in the dark

blood moving through her
watch it cleaning the bones
the moon on the water,
Show no sounds

I know I shouldn't trust her,
She's not a miracle

if I could leave it where it is..

dReaMpaTcHer

tired of being right

keep my hands off the Wheel

Then scream seriously..

I would die for them!
only I can live for them!

Huh..

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Pass it on?

Glow plain

I'm Nobody..
I've overgot

let me creep
sleep

Let me sleep
Creep

soiled
Flushed
glowed

blossoms in the dark
a circle
Miracle

Darkness spreads
Darkness's calling..

inarticulate cry

The dReaMpaTcHer
A sleepwalker
Killer

if..

If I could I would give up
I wish that I was anywhere with anyone..

wHy

Don't ask why..

Let juz feel wat I feel

Coz am tired

I juz can breath easyly

Love u hopelessly

Nobody's see

Can't u see why I can't look @ u?

I juz told u..

I got hurt a lot

I have lifeless eyes

Am in daze

It was done within days

Nothin's goin 2 happen

I'll go

Up n down

Don't ask why

Why I can't give a reason why

CatCh Me

Come..

Come and get me..
How can you start all over when you never began?
I've been dying 2 let you win..

See, what u can do n let me know..

D most horryfying crime will killing us..

I should see sun bleeding 4m ur eyes

And d softness of my soul will be guarded 4m embrace

I would scream..

But I can't do @ all

I don't hear d last time u called..

unEasy wAy

My dream is feelin worn
Feelin colder than it ought 2 be
I know nobody 2 love
I see life are too longer when I'm alone
But I would be gone
Gone with no one,
Gone with no sound,
Gone by the white light white!
And all of my days won't be bright!
Coz I'm a dead of the first sight!
I'm bored of this distance
It makes no difference
It likes a tired game!
I won't follow my heart
Coz it seems 2 get in fool way..

d0wN

The children broke down

And you asked why, why, again, again, and again

They said..

"By now, it's beginning to show!"

The sun is going down

They frequently sobbing of near tears

Unable

To sit still

Know, that they will be killed

We had made a run 4 nothin

Only got a step or two away when we were brought down

We don't think anything

Off the foyer on the ground

It's juz a war

Which dark accept 4 the light of a shotgun

Awakened too late

Yelled in vain

A shot went wide and buried our self

Had no time 4 fear, or no plead 4 life

With the blood and viscera,

We live 4ever, in hysteria..

CrYiNg..

Am lost in my flame..

Surrounded by d'deep blue sea..

Got noone 2 blame..

Got nothin 2 see..

Diz pain is juz too real..

Try so hard to feel i was killed..

N tired of being here..

HatRed

D'only thing means nothin..

keep my eyes 2 searchin..

Heaven knows wat d'future brings..

Across d'eternal line..

Swept away my unlimited mind..

I'll run away..

still runnin away..

Till u c,

how disgustin u r 2 me..

uNspOkeN

Look at me..

Watch out d'mirror..

Open row..

U'll c my gain n my sorrow..

D'hard thing dat u borrowed, ll come back 2morrow..

I stil alive..

I stil alive n grow..

N let d'sun glows..

Juz watch d'real show..

Of a broken foe..

uNcLosEd EyE

Be careful along d road,dear..

D satan ll alwys follow u..

Dont be too scare..

Juz try 2 close ur eyes n fly away ..

Hold me tight,dear..

Cz i know its hard 2 let u go..

aLoNe

I wont walk out..

I hear u warnings..

But I neva knew how far behind i'd left u..

I know it wont be long..

I cant say wat i might beliv..

Tell me why..

Why do d birds laugh when am dying..

LoNeLy

D air go out..
I stay 2 watch its fade away..
Am falling into d light,
nothing shining bright..
My soul is going nowhere,
n nobody care..

LaLat BerDaSi

Lalat lalat kecil..

Dimankah aku sekarang?

Di tumpukan keajaiban setan..

Dimana tak semua orang menyukai keadilan!

Lalat lalat berdasi mahal..

Kemana aku sekarang?

Ke negeri antah berantah..

Dimana para tukang tidur mandapatkan banyak uang..

Hmm..

Lalat lslst jalanan,

suatu saat aku akan mencarimu..

Untuk berziarah di Makam emasmu..

Kids NowaDays

Reptil2 yg mlang..

Trsyang..

Trbelakang..

Menjijikan..

Muda..

Merah putih..

Jumawa..

Trsedak darah..

Culas..

Kaki..

Pelangi..

Benci membuncah..

Mmbenci..

Membenci..

Membenci..

Mmbenci..

Gadis2 yg pamer aksi..

Mw jd ap negri ini?

Neraka mini?

SiNetRoN

Menjijikan!

Sinetron sinetron penunda Lapar!

Perusak moral..

Tampang tampang idola gadungan!

Menjijikan!

Kisah kisah setara, muka muka serupa, kekonyolan yang sama!

Kenapa mereka tak mati juga?

Ludahku terlalu kental untuk ku obral..

Neegriku yang aneh, rakyat yang makin goblok

Doktrin doktrin tak berguna!

Penjual mental bngsa!

Kemana kita?

Remaja remaja penikmat cuka??

BAT

Bertingkah Layaknya seorang bedebah..
Apa mau mu?
Menjadi keparat kecil?
Merongrong,Mengonggong,Melolong..

Sial!
Mahluk apa kau hah!

Menjual sperma dalam botol botol aqua?
Mengadaikan paha di depan gedung
Mereka tak sehina itu!
Cuma manusia yang melakukan hal yang di sukainya dan di bayar!
Atau hanya terjerat tipuan!

Sedikit lebih beharga dari para pembencinya
Lebih suci dari sang pembeli..

dOEMokRaSiE

Kami adalah tentara tentara jahanam..

Penakluk setan..

Utusan anti mati..

Kami datang bukan untuk di hancurkan,

Hanya untuk di ludahi..

Di benci dan masuk tivi..

Kami tak punya hati,

Hanya empedu berwarna warni..

Tinggi sekali..

Bersorak sorai di jalan raya..

Berpikir tuan dewan membuka mata..

Yah..

Kami memang sedikit gila!

Pucuk asam,

Kupu kupu belang,

Kenikir yang tumbuh d sawah,

Kuasa ilalang..

Pertigaan kemarau..

Dan aku masih tak terbasuh..

bE stRoNg!!

Dan..
Sayapku yang rapuh ini,
Mengeras

Tembaga

Pencuci hati
Yang di ikat dengan tali jemari

Tanpa sandaran

Belajar tegar
Mencari
Perjalanan

bRo?

Semburat.. Memberat.. Aku penat..

Di pundakmu
Tak kan pernah ada aku

Cekikan pagi

Menggelepar di sudut hati

Seandainya aku mampu mengejanya

Dan aku bisa membaca

Tapi aku tak sedewasa itu..

Aku hanya ingin merasakannya..

Bukankah itu sangat sederhana?

Aku bukan benalu

Sekelebat asa yang tak mampu ku bagi

Tak mau kau miliki

Maaf..

My bro..

Bila boleh ku panggil kau begitu

Meski aku tak layak untuk itu

Aku tak terlalu berharga..

Iya kan,

bro..?

art Of war

Perang ini begitu indah kan sayang?
Banyak darah berkeliaran..
Mayat mayat tersenyum manja..
Sepertinya Tuhan berhenti bertanya,
Dan kita..
Terlalu naif dan terlalu tinggi

Pernahkah kita merindukan pahlawan?
Yang tersekat dalam kebahagiaan
Dan neraka semakin menjauh
Surga bukan lagi tempat berteduh..
Kita..
Tak ubahnya seperti pembunuh..

Diantara katedral,
Marmer marmer tebal..
Pemimpin berhati bebal
Kadal kadal pesakitan..
Rindu dipuja..
Rindu terluka

Bumi ini..
Panas!

Dan aku diam
Aku pecundang
Berharap sayapku terbang tinggi
Mengitari negeri sampah ini

Semoga pagi ini,
mimpi..
Menjadi penjaga tidurku..
Penyekat perangku..
Penghasut sejatiku..

KoNtaMinaSi tELeviSi

Selamat pagi belatung belatung cantik
Tampil menarik?
Meski sedikit jijik,
Tapi ku akui kau memang cantik..
Sangat cantik..
Dengan sirip warna warni..
Mengotori persepsi

Diduk bersila sambil bersenggama
Seolah cinderela adalah petuah nyata
Bersama dalam suka dan duka
Layaknya kancil dan pengikutnya

Ampuuun!!

Kepada siapa aku tertawa?
Bahkan kau hanya mondar mandir di layar kaca
Pamer gigi yang tidak dicuci sebelas hari
Menghibur para penghancur
Merusak moral penghuni secara vertikal!

Banting saja mulut yang berkedip kedip!
Dan bekerja seperti manusia seharusnya..
Mungkin kodratmu..
Menjadi penjual mental!

dOn't KiLL mE!

Terpanah..
Jatuh berdarah!
Mungkin kemunafikan ini terlalu mencintaiku
Ingin selalu memiliku!

Seperti..

Hitam yang ingin membenci

Hanya ketenaran yang membosankan
Keresahan yang datar
Terkalahkan
Oleh kesepian

Andai aku tak menyebut aku
Dan mulutku membungkam nyawaku
Selancang bujukan nurani
Yang mati

Selalu
Berkelana mencari
Meski ku bersembunyi di peti mati
Tetap melekat mengikuti
Mencintai kematianku

Diriku
Sejak kapan diincar kebejatan?
Dan tak ada yang melindungiku
Tak ingin melindungiku
Kau juga seperti itu kan?

Yaa..
Aku pasti menyerah..
Suatu hari nanti..

aKu

Melihatku
Menikmati kebejatanmu..
Mencecar..
Menikmati luka bakar

Sesungguhnya aku tak pernah ada!
Selamanya

Di sudut teriakan
Teralun suram
Dan berkaca,
Pada dinding bertembok bata
Tampat dimana selaput otakku berceceran

Kerapuhan ini terus berlanjut..

Terasing oleh tangisan..
Sumbang
Berteriak lantang!
Menantangku untuk lekas mati!

Aaaah..

dUnia

Lengah
Bersemayam dalam balutan darah..
Inginku menghancurkan dunia!
Tak kunjung membuatmu binasa!
Inikah kepalamu?
Berbatu!

Serasa Tuhan yang mengutukmu
Di antara paradigma nyata
Yang slalu menuntutmu!

Bangau bangau yang berenang di padang impian..
Tersedak kebijaksanaan
Bersandarlah..
Samentara nyawamu membuncah..
Keadilan setan!

Duniaku..
Dimodifikasi lagi..
Tak mampu ku terjemahkan
Olehmu..
Sejak kapan aku mengenalmu?

sAmpaH MaSyAraKat

Terindah dalam kisah kisah sampah!
Melaknatkan pesona nurani..
Yang tak ubahnya bangkai bangkai mati!
Anggota dewan bertopeng rupawan,
Bertangan jembatan..

Disini kau berdiri tanpa kaki
Bernyanyi sepanjang hari
Mata uang bertebaran
Di atas meja berlumuran liur
Petinggi petinggi takabur!

Lelahkah kau menjadi sampah?
Sampah sampah terindah..
Yang tak akan pernah punah..!